Two And A Half Mom
by Bam27
Summary: Due to his break up with Chelsea, Charlie has a hard time dealing with it. He spends weeks drinking, partying at strip clubs, and returning home late drunk with different strippers. Dr. Freeman suggest to Charlie about joining the Alcoholics Anonymous, hoping for Charlie to achieve sobriety.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Two And A Half Men and Mom. Two And A Half Men belongs to Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn. Mom belongs to Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, and Gemma Baker. No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit will be earned here.

Author's Note: This takes place with Season 8 of Two And A Half Men lining up with Mom.

As Charlie continues to drink and party hard, Alan is reading a book in the living room, as he waits for his brother to come back home safely. Charlie is back from the strip club drunk with two beautiful strippers carrying him by his side. The one next to Charlie on his left is a tanned brunette named Beth, and the other on his right is a blonde named Ashley.

"Welcome to my castle ladies," Charlie said.

Alan is not happy; he stops reading and gets up to confront his brother.

"Charlie, its five minutes after three and you're just getting home from the strip club."

"Oh really?" Charlie asked. "Time sure flies when you're having fun and partying hard."

"I know since all you have been doing for weeks is partying and drinking non-stop since Chelsea broke up with you."

"Alan I like for you to meet these hot strippers. The hot brunette is Beth, the hot blonde is Ashley."

"Hi Alan," said the strippers in a softer tone, while waving at Alan.

Alan waves back. "Hello ladies," he said with a smile.

"Now if you excuse us, the women will continue carrying me up the stairs, tuck me into bed, then read me a story... or have sex, one of the two, man I am so high," Charlie said.

"You're drunk," Alan said.

"Thank you," Charlie replied.

Beth and Ashley carry Charlie by his side again upstairs to his bedroom.

"Say you girls into threesomes?" Charlie asked once they got to the top of the stairs.

In the morning, Charlie is slowly coming down the stairs, as he is going into the kitchen. Alan is at the table reading the newspaper.

"Morning," Charlie said as he is getting a cup of coffee.

"Morning," Alan replied.

Charlie pours a cup of coffee. "Alan, do you recall what happened to me last night?" he asked.

"You went out partying and drinking at the strip club and returned home with two beautiful strippers."

"Oh right now I remember, especially since recalling the threesome I wanted."

Alan looking so confused. "H-how on earth can you remember having a threesome when you were completely drunk?" Alan wondered.

"Sounds like that is when my sobriety started to kick in," Charlie assumed.

"Charlie, ever since your break up with Chelsea, you've been emotionally easing your pain by drinking more alcohol than usual, stopping by the strip club, also hoping to bring home some gals that can satisfy you with sex."

"What do you want me to do Alan?"

"How about being a man by going over to her apartment to win her back," Alan suggested.

"Are you crazy?" Charlie thinking Alan is out of his mind, as he sits down at the table. "There's no way we're getting back together. Remember, I'm not the guy she wanted me to be like BRAAAAAAAD!"

"I recall, but constantly partying and drinking is not the healthy way to deal with the break up."

Berta walks into the kitchen. "Hey Charlie, you didn't happen to throw up last night or the time you got up this morning did you?" she asked.

Charlie is not sure. "I don't think so. Alan, do you recall hearing me throwing up?" he asked.

"No you did not," Alan replied.

"Good. Even if you did, you know-," Charlie cuts off Berta.

"I know, I know, you're not cleaning it up."

"That a boy!" Berta said proudly with a smile. She then turned her direction to Alan. "Hey Zippy, you better thank your lucky stars you're not an alcoholic drunk like your brother here."

"Amen to that," Alan replied when lifting up his cup of coffee before putting it back down on the table. "You know maybe its time for you to see our therapist again," he suggested.

"Screw therapy," Charlie gets out of the chair and is walking out of the kitchen. "I'm going over to Chelsea's to win her back."

"So instead of therapy, you rather try to win your ex-fiance back, even though the two of you probably won't get back together?" Alan asked.

"All I'm hearing is blah blah blah kiss my ass!" Charlie annoyed and then leaves the kitchen.

Alan goes back to reading the newspaper. "Kiss his ass? How about kissing my ass and feet you bastard," Alan mumbles.

Charlie shows up at Chelsea's apartment door and knocks on it three times. Chelsea opens the door and is surprised to see Charlie.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?" she wondered.

"Chelsea, I'm sorry I'm not the man you wanted me to be, but regardless I want us to always be together since I have been thinking about you non-stop like crazy. I want this relationship between us to work."

"Charlie that is very sweet, but I really don't think the relationship between us was meant to be."

"If this is still about me throwing up on the baby I'm sorry, but eventually you're going to have to get past it."

"What human being pukes on a poor baby?!"

"Give me a break, I had to vomit somewhere."

"Why didn't you vomit on the floor?"

"And end up cleaning my own mess, forget it."

"You could have vomit in one of the trash cans."

"Excuse me for worrying about getting my clothes messy."

Brad comes to the door. "Hey, is everything alright?" he asked then noticed Charlie. "Oh hey, Charlie."

Charlie smiled. "Hey Brad."

"How's it going?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Charlie mumbled when turning his head to the left, making sure Brad did not hear him.

"What?" Brad with a confused look on his face.

Charlie turns his head back to Brad. "Uh, I said I'm hanging in there."

"Good. By the way, I made dinner reservations for us at 7 tonight," Brad giving Chelsea the heads up.

"Okay thanks," Chelsea said.

"Take care Charlie," Brad said.

"See you Brad," Charlie waving goodbye with a friendly smile on his face, until he angrily frowns. "Bastard," Charlie mumbles when pissed off.

Chelsea has her arms crossed when confronting him. "Charlie."

"Have you two been dating?" Charlie being suspiciously curious.

"Yes we have," she replied.

"And you guys haven't had sex, right?"


	2. Chapter 2

"First of all, I don't think its anyone's business, and second, of course not since we're just taking things slow."

"Chelsea, all the partying and drinking I have been doing was for you because I miss you like crazy. I just want you to remember that I will always see you as my number one gal."

"I know, but you partying and drinking constantly to ease the pain for me is not healthy at all."

"Well I guess you deserve more happiness than me. I just hope that we can still remain friends."

"Of course, and I hope you find some happiness for yourself."

Charlie then nodded. "Well I better get going. See you around."

"Goodbye Charlie," Chelsea said then turns around and smiled at Charlie when closing the door.

Charlie stands in the hallway for a few seconds feeling disappointed and then walks away. He returns to his house later that night. He heads to the kitchen; there is Alan sitting on the couch watching television.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey, did you win Chelsea back?" Alan wondered.

"No," Charlie said while pouring a glass of the Macallan scotch. "I lost the romantic battle since her and Brad have been dating."

"Ouch," Alan knowing that stings. "Have they had sex yet?" he asked.

"No since according to Chelsea, they're taking things nice and slow like the song by Usher. You know I've been thinking about what you said about seeing our therapist again."

Alan delightfully happy as he turned his head facing Charlie. "You thought about what I actually suggested?"

Charlie walking to the couch to have a seat next to Alan. "Hey Hey Hey, keep control of your emotions and keep your pants on."

"You think you'll" be able to move on from Chelsea?"

"I sure hope so. I'll" have to find some way to deal it... even if she is with BRAAAAAAAD!"

Charlie is waiting for Dr. Linda Freeman to see him. She opens the door for Charlie to come in for his appointment.

"Come on in Charlie," she said.

"Thanks," he replied.

"So how have you been and what can I help you with today?" Dr. Freeman asked.

"Well I haven't been happy for weeks since me and Chelsea broke up."

"Son of a bitch, you cheated on her," Dr. Freeman accusing Charlie.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Where the hell is this coming from? You on your period?" he asked.

"Charlie I know you and your womanizing ways, so don't play dumb with me," she said.

"I swear I haven't done any womanizing while me and Chels were together."

"Okay, then tell me what happened to the relationship? Wait!" Dr. Freeman gets comfy in her chair, as she sits back and relax, lastly crossing her legs. "Go," Dr. Freeman pointing her finger at Charlie, as she was giving him the cue to speak.

Charlie rolls his eyes. "I accused Chelsea for thinking she was cheating on me with my brother's lawyer, Brad."

"Oh boy I wish I had some popcorn right about now," Dr. Freeman excited; couldn't help but smile.

Charlie is pissed off looking at her. "She also wanted me to become a better man for her. I tried everything to become the man she wanted me to be, but that backfired and her being around Brad emotionally hurts me."

"So you figured the best way to ease your emotional pain was constantly drinking a lot of alcohol, partying, and bringing home gorgeous strippers to get in bed with you," Dr. Freeman guessed.

"Exactly," Charlie replied.

"Well Charlie, you have a long history when it comes to your issues with alcohol beverages."

"I know, just like my long history for the love of bourbon. By the way, its our 30th anniversary since being together," he added.

"Well happy anniversary to you and your precious bourbon," Dr. Freeman being sarcastic. "Charlie, are you aware of AA?" she asked.

Charlie looks up and takes a moment to think. He then faces his direction back to Dr. Freeman. "If I have to guess, I'm thinking anal ass?"

Dr. Freeman looks at him and does not know how to respond to what Charlie just said. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked.

"Beats me... I know I'm not drunk," he replied.

"Maybe you've been smoking too much weed or pot," she said.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! The only thing I smoke are cigarettes and that is only once a year," Charlie said in his defense.

"You sure that isn't the bourbon talking? If so, you might want to end the relationship," Dr. Freeman sarcastically suggested.

"Hey you leave bourbon out of this," Charlie said.

"Listen, AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous. It is the mutual aid fellowship that helps alcoholics achieve sobriety by staying sober," Dr. Freeman explained. "If I'm not mistaken, there is an Alcoholics Anonymous here in California in Napa."

"What makes you think me staying sober is going to work when I couldn't be a better man for my ex-fiancee?"

"Well its better to give it a shot than continuing to party at strip clubs and drinking more amount of alcohol, to the point your urine goes from looking yellow to turning red."

"Fine, but if it doesn't work out, I'm holding you accountable."

"Aw... so cute when you get so pissed off," Dr. Freeman being sarcastic again.

Charlie looks at her again with a pissed off look on his face.

Charlie shows up at an AA speaker meeting in Napa. He looks around until he sees a woman pouring a cup of coffee in front of a table with snacks. Charlie approaches the woman.

"Excuse me," Charlie said.

The woman turned her direction to Charlie. She smiled, also was very calm and relaxed when talking to Charlie. "Hello, I'm Marjorie. I am the AA sponsor."

"Charlie Harper," both Charlie and Marjorie exchanged an handshake.

"Listen, my therapist Dr. Freeman suggested I join the AA in hopes of achieving sobriety. I have been an alcoholic for years and its gotten worse since me and ex-fiancee broke up," Charlie explained.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," Marjorie being sympathetic. "Well I do have an AA group you can be apart of, but you'll" be the only man in the group since its mainly all women," Marjorie giving Charlie the heads up.

"No! No! No! Women are fine," Charlie feeling delighted. "How fine are these women actually?" Charlie being curious.

Marjorie smiles. "Why don't you come and find out," she insisted.

"I got a bad feeling there aren't any fine women," Charlie feeling suspicious.

"Don't worry Charlie, everything will be fine. Since you're here, would you care to stay for the speaker meeting?"

"No thanks," Charlie then noticed a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table.

"Oooh cookies," Charlie said. Marjorie smacks his hand before getting a cookie. "Sorry Charlie, but you can't have a cookie nor any of the other snacks."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Until you're a member, no snacks for you."

"Oh give me a break at least I showed up here to see you in person."

"Not happening Charlie. By the way, that Dr. Linda Freeman is a riot and such a wonderful therapist."

"She's alright." Charlie shrugging his shoulders. "Hey what's that?" Charlie asked when pointing.

"What?" Marjorie quickly turning her head to the other direction.

Charlie then quickly takes some of the cookies with him and runs away.

One morning, Charlie walks into the kitchen to let Alan know he is on his way to his first AA group meeting.

"Well, I'm on my way to the AA group meeting," Charlie said.

"Hopefully you'll" enjoy," Alan replied.

"Oh I will since I'm the only guy in the group."

"Wait, they're all women and it doesn't bother you about being the only male in the group?"

"Alan, I love women. I adore them, I'm crazy about them, wanting to be female companions with them."

"Charlie, you're known for just getting them into bed and not being friends with them."

"Relax. Its not like I'm going to turn into a homosexual cross dresser, where I end up getting my nails done. Anyways, wish me luck."

"Since when do you need luck?!" Alan asked. "I'm the one who needs it...desperately!"

Before the AA group meeting began, Marjorie introduces the ladies to Charlie.

"Okay everyone before we begin the meeting, we have a new member joining our group," Marjorie announced. "This individual has been going through some pain, so let's make this individual feel right at home. Come on in Charlie!"

Charlie is walking into the meeting. Jill and Wendy couldn't help but to look and gaze at Charlie.

"Oh my he is such a hunk. I'm so hungry, I need some fries to go with that shake," Jill said.

"I'm so horny right now," Wendy replied.

Marjorie introduces Charlie. "Ladies, I like for you to meet our new member of the group, Charlie."

"Hi Charlie," the ladies greeted except for Marjorie.

"Hello," Charlie said when raising his hand. He then turns his direction towards Bonnie. Charlie all of a sudden hears birds chirping, acoustic guitar playing, and flute music being played in his head. He also visualizes Bonnie's hair blowing in the breeze and she's giving him the kissy face with her eyes closed.

Charlie finally comes back to reality. "Hello there," he said to Bonnie and sits next to her.

"Hello," She replied.

"Charlie Harper."

"Bonnie Plunkett," They both exchanged an handshake.

"Do you think he's good in bed?" Wendy whispering to Jill.

"Oh I know he is, don't let the bowling shirt with the shorts fool you," Jill whispering to Wendy.

After his first day at the AA group meeting, Charlie returns home. Alan walks into the the living room seeing Charlie coming in the front door.

"Hey, how was your first day with the AA group?" Alan asked.

"It was good, especially since I'm in love all over again," Charlie being in a good mood.

"Really? Are you sure you're in love or perhaps its the bourbon or scotch talking?" Alan asked.

"I wish you would stop talking," Charlie replied. "First Dr. Freeman, now you of all people I mean give me a break."

"Okay, then I insist you tell me about this woman that you are so madly in love with," Alan said.

Charlie and Alan both sit at the kitchen table.

"Alan, this woman is gorgeous, funny, a fox, her name is Bonnie Plunkett. That name is as beautiful as she is."

"Wow, I've never seen this side of you before. The way your describing this particular woman has made you fall head over heels for her."

"I know right? When I first saw her it was like music was being played in my head, along with hearing birds chirping in the background, also visualizing her hair blowing in the breeze, and her giving me a kissy face," Charlie explained. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but it was more beautiful then watching porn."

"So you're obviously going to ask her out, huh?"

"I wish, but apparently she's engaged to some guy named Adam."

"Interesting, the both of you were engaged at one point to a significant other, now she's still engaged, while you are back to being single again," Alan finding it ironic.

"Yeah, its ironic," Charlie replied.

"I'm sure there are plenty of other women in the AA group who are interested in you."

"There is Jill. She and another woman named Wendy were all over me today. Wendy's not my type, Jill is attractive for sure, but my heart keeps saying that Bonnie is the one for me. There's also Tammy, Bonnie's foster sister."

"Do you find her attractive?"

"Oh please, Bonnie's way hotter than her. Plus, Tammy was in prison and seems like she enjoys playing ruff."

"Does Bonnie have a daughter?"

"Yeah, but she's got nothing on her mother. I also can't see myself hitting it off with her daughter, Christy. It would be the same similar situation with Michelle and her daughter. Christy is gorgeous, but I doubt she's a bisexual twenty-year-old."

"Are you really in love with Bonnie where you are officially over Chelsea, or are you really using Bonnie as a rebound because you may still have feelings for your ex-fiancee?" Alan questioning Charlie.

"Of course I still miss Chelsea, but I really do have feelings for Bonnie I swear, and no its not scotch or the bourbon talking, and I'm not high either since I don't smoke weed or pot."

"You say your heart keeps saying Bonnie is the one, but it is really your penis doing the talking?" Alan being sarcastic.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Charlie replied.

Jill, Wendy, and Christy are sitting and waiting at the cafe for Marjorie, Bonnie, and Charlie. Jill and Wendy couldn't help but to talk about how they find Charlie so hot.

"I got a tell you, that Charlie Harper is so hot," Jill said.

"Hot like fire, hot like molten lava," Wendy said.

"Hot like Sweet hot cocoa!" Jill replied.

"Seriously? You think Charlie Harper out of all people is hot?" Christy asked. "Leonardo DiCaprio is hot. Denzel Washington...hot. George Clooney.. so hot. Charlie Harper, so not hot."

"Sounds like someone is a hater," Jill said.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game," Wendy replied.

"I am not hating, especially since he's the same age as my mother, possibly a little younger," Christy said.

"Is there any reason why you have beef with Charlie?" Jill wonders.

"He's a no good womanizing bachelor, who is into my mom when she's engaged, also enjoys getting women into bed, only to get in their pants," Christy explained.

"I sure would love for him to get in my pants," Jill said.

Christy with a mortified look on her face. "Aww, SICK!"

Marjorie, Bonnie, and Charlie finally arrived.

"Hey ladies," Charlie said.

"Hello to you Mr. Charlie Harper," Jill replied with a big smile on her face.

"Okay ladies, I think we should allow Charlie to talk about his struggles with alcohol. So Charlie, when did you start drinking?" Marjorie asked.

"I started drinking when I was a teenager," Charlie replied.

"So did I, fifteen-years-old when I had my first drink," Bonnie said.

Charlie paused for a second as he looked at Bonnie. "Yeah, I'm definitely head over heels for you," Charlie smiles.

Bonnie looked and smiled at Charlie, then blushes while flipping her hair back.

"Is there any reason why you drink?" Marjorie asked.

"Well mainly its because of my mother aka 'The Spawn of Satan.' There's also my brother and his son, who is my nephew."

"Tell me, why is your mother so evil?" Marjorie wondered.

"Simple, she sent my father to an early grave when he died of food poisoning."

"Your mother killed him by serving him undercooked meat?" Wendy shockingly asked.

"Actually, my father ate a fish that was in the kitchen drawer for months," Charlie explained. "I had a feeling he knew it was there and still ate it, so it sounds like my dad decided to commit suicide than continue still being married to the devil that is my mother."

Marjorie, Jill, Wendy, Christy, and Bonnie were all shocked and speechless; the women didn't know what to say.

"Well if it makes you feel any better Charlie, my mother abandoned me and I ended up bouncing around from home to home," Bonnie said.

"That doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me wish that I was abandoned by my mother and had a new family by now," Charlie replied.

"Now you mentioned that you and your ex-fiance broke up, what exactly happened to the relationship?" Marjorie being curious.

"I accused her of cheating on me and Chelsea felt I couldn't trust her. We're still friends, but now knowing that she is dating my brother's lawyer, it drove me to drink even more amount of alcohol, partying hard, and bringing home strippers non-stop."

"Oh you poor man," Jill said sympathetically, gently putting her hand on top of Charlie's hand. "If you need a fiance, I will marry you in a heartbeat," she added.

Charlie smiled then turned his direction to Bonnie. "So Bonnie, how many times have you been married?" he asked.

"Never," she said. "My late ex-boyfriend Alvin was my first love and I ended up pregnant with Christy. He ran away, abandoning the both of us. I resented him for years because of that, but I regained romantic feelings for him all over again. Unfortunately... he died."

"How did he die?" Charlie wondered.

"He died while giving me oral sex," Bonnie replied.

Charlie didn't know what to say. "Wow... well look on the bright side, at least he got some kitty cat before he died."

The women were silent and angrily stared at Charlie for what he just said.

"What I was looking on the bright side. He obviously died happy, the poor lucky bastard wasn't murdered."

The women continued to angrily stare at Charlie.

"Damn it, stop staring at me! Its annoying!" Charlie bothered.

A few days later, Charlie and Bonnie get together for coffee at the coffee shop in Malibu. They both ordered frappuccinos; caramel for Charlie and chocolate for Bonnie. As they pull their chairs out to sit at the table, Charlie apologizes for what he said the other day.

"Listen, I want to apologize about what I said about your late ex-boyfriend getting some kitty cat before he kicked the bucket."

Bonnie tilt her head when looking at Charlie and smiled. "Its fine," she replied then drinking her frappuccino.

"Silly me for looking on the bright side by trying to lighten the mood."

"Charlie I know you didn't do it on purpose. Me and the rest of the women don't hate you... well Christy sure does since Alvin is her father."

"Yeah that makes sense," Charlie takes a sip of his frappuccino.

"Anyways, I'm sorry you and your fiance didn't work out," Bonnie being sympathetic.

"Thanks," Charlie then notices the ring on her finger. "So is that an engagement ring on your finger?" he asked.

Bonnie showing off her engagement ring. "It sure is."

"Nice rock. Its as nice as the one I gave Chelsea, so Adam's the lucky guy, huh?"

"He sure is."

"Well he sure is one lucky bastard to be engaged to a sexy, yet foxy woman," Charlie giving Bonnie a compliment.

"Well thank you," Bonnie flattered.

"No really. Everything about you is foxy. Even your voice sounds so foxy and similar to the mom that plays Peggy Bundy on Married with Children."

"Katey Sagal?" Bonnie assumed.

"There it is," Charlie remembered.

"Huh," Bonnie said while thinking when facing forward. "Now that I think about it, my voice does sound similar to Katey Sagal's, although I always thought I sound like FM Radio. Up next, nights in white satin," Bonnie does her FM Radio impression.

Charlie and Bonnie both laugh so hard. Chelsea walks into the shop as she is in line to order some coffee. Charlie notices her as he stopped laughing and his eyes grew big.

"Oh crap," he said.

"Charlie, is everything alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Not a ghost, but certainly my ex-fiance."

Bonnie turns her head to take a look at Chelsea.


	3. Chapter 3

"The brunette one?" she asked.

"Yeah," Charlie replied.

Bonnie turns her head looking at Chelsea once more.

"She's hot. How could you let that sexy thing get away?" she asked.

"I didn't know you were bisexual," Charlie assumed.

"I'm not. I'm a straight female who is not afraid to tell another straight woman that she's sexy or hot. I remember asking the girls who would date me if I went the lesbian route, Wendy was the only one who thought about it and complicated on my legs," Bonnie explained.

"See this is why you're so foxy," Charlie said.

Bonnie smiles at him.

"We better get out of here before she sees us," Charlie said as he gets up out of his seat.

"Wait, hold on. You want to leave so your ex won't notice us?" Bonnie asked.

"Hell no I don't want to be seen by my ex here."

"Oh come. I'm sure Chelsea won't even notice your here."

Chelsea notices Charlie standing. "Charlie?"

Charlie stands there looking at her, but then quickly ducks down on the floor, and crawls under the table to hide.

"Is she gone?" Charlie asked.

Bonnie turns her head and still sees Chelsea there."Nope, she hasn't left the coffee shop."

"Maybe I should continue hiding under the table so she won't see me."

Bonnie turns her head noticing Chelsea is walking towards the table. "Yeah it doesn't matter because she's on her way to our table."

Chelsea is now at the table. "Charlie?"

"OW!" Charlie hits his head from under the table. Charlie gets up from under the table. "Oh hey Chels, I thought that was you. I had to tie up my left shoe," Charlie lying.

"From under the table?" Chelsea asked.

"Well after tying my shoe, I crawled under the table because I thought I saw a lucky dime... turns out it wasn't," Charlie explained.

"Charlie, aren't you going to introduce me?" she asked.

"Right. Bonnie this is Chelsea, my ex-finance. Chelsea this is Bonnie."

"Nice to meet you Bonnie."

"Nice to meet you Chelsea."

"So how do you two know each other?" Chelsea wondered.

"Where in the same AA group,"Charlie replied.

"Charlie I'm so proud of you because I want you to be happy."

"Thanks."

"So you guys are friends?" Chelsea asked.

"Yes-," Charlie cuts off Bonnie.

"Actually, we're more than just friends.. we're engaged." he said when sitting down and sitting close to Bonnie. Bonnie slowly turns her head facing Charlie with a pissed off look on her face. Charlie on the other hand couldn't help but smile at her.

"Show her the ring Bon," he said.

Bonnie then smiled. "Yes dear," Bonnie showed Chelsea the engagement ring.

"Oh, that is beautiful. It is beautiful as the one Charlie gave me when we were engaged."

"Yeah. When I first met Bonnie, I knew we were a match made in heaven, destined to be together once we gazed into each others eyes. Isn't that right Bon?"

Charlie puts his arm around Bonnie. Bonnie turns her head facing Charlie with a pissed off look on her face again.

"Sure," Bonnie smiled.

"Well I'm happy for you too. We should do a double date," Chelsea suggested.

"Sure, that would be great," Charlie is all for it.

Bonnie's eyes grew wide.

"How about Friday night?" Chelsea asked.

"Sounds good," Charlie replied.

"Okay, see you two love birds later," Chelsea said as she walks away.

"Well that went well," Charlie said.

Bonnie is so angry, she punches Charlie in his left arm.

"Ow!" Charlie said.

"What the hell were you thinking? Why would you tell her that we're in engaged?!" Bonnie furious.

"I'm sorry, I'm panicked. It sucks to see Chelsea moving on when I still miss her, so I figured I try making her jealous by telling her that we're engaged." Charlie explained.

"But I'm engaged to another man that is clearly not you!" Bonnie still furious.

"Please help me. I just want to see if there's a 99% chance that me and Chelsea could get back together."

"Fine, but only because you said that I'm foxy and sexy."

Bonnie returns home after having coffee with Charlie. There is her fiance Adam, sitting in the living room watching TV.

"Hey, I'm back," Bonnie said.

"Hey, did you have fun with your new friend?" Adam asked.

"Sure did," Bonnie replied.

Christy walks from the kitchen and is going into the living room. "There she is. My mother, the back stabber. You know I still can't believe you agreed to have coffee with Charlie of all people."

"Is it because of what he said about your father dying happy?" Bonnie guessed. "He was just looking on the bright side and if you think about it, I was happy to get some kitty myself on the night that your dad passed on."

Adam turns his head facing Bonnie with a disturbed look on his face.

Bonnie pauses for a moment. "Oh I forgot you're right here."

"Anyways, I was thinking you and me should do a dinner date," Adam said.

"Well that sounds lovely, when should we do our dinner date?" Bonnie wondered.

"I was thinking this Friday."

Bonnie has a shocked look on her face with her mouth open. She realized that is the same day she was going on a pretend double date with Charlie. "Friday?"

"Yeah, it sounds like Friday is not going to work for us," Adam replied.

"Its not. Listen and please don't get mad at me, but I promised Charlie that we would do a double date together as a pretend couple," Bonnie said.

"WHAT!" Adam shouting when angry.

"You promised you weren't going to get mad, wait you didn't promise me anything," Bonnie realizing.

"Oh I'm sorry. Me hearing about you going on a double date with another man PISSED ME THE HELL OFF!" Adam angrily shouting again.

"The reason I'm doing this is because Charlie is trying to get back with his ex-fiance. I'm helping him by making her jealous to the point that she'll" crawl back to him," Bonnie explained.

"Mom, I don't think you going on a double date with Charlie is a good idea. Remember, he's a womanizing bachelor," Christy said.

Adam looking confused. "You're going on a double date with a womanizing fool?"

"Not just that, he's madly in love with my mom. He flirts and gives her compliments," Christy mentioned.

"Bonnie is this true?" Adam asked.

"Yes, but its just innocent flirting. Charlie knows that I'm taken."

"Are you sure you're not in love with him?" Adam being curious.

"Adam, I'm not in love with Charlie, we're just friends. I hope you're not jealous."

"I'm not jealous. This is just me protecting you to make sure that he's not up to any funny business."

"You can trust me. Nothing is going on between us, this is just me helping out a friend."

Adam pauses for a second. "Okay... I trust you."

"Thank you," Bonnie replied. Her and Adam both kissed each other on the lips.

Its Friday night; Charlie is dressed as he is ready for his pretend double date.

"Alright, don't wait up," Charlie letting Alan know.

"Where are you going?" Alan wondered.

"I'm going on a date," Charlie said.

"Oh wonderful. Who's the lovely lady?" Alan asked.

"Bonnie," Charlie replied.

"Bonnie, the same woman that is in the AA group, also the same woman you are madly in love with obviously," Alan assumed.

"Yep. See we're going on a double date as a pretend couple. Bonnie will pretend to be my new fiance so hopefully it will make Chelsea jealous," Charlie explained.

"So basically, you and Bonnie are going on a double date with Chelsea and Brad. If the plan somehow works, you feel its the only way to win Chelsea back," Alan figuring out.

"Exactly," Charlie said.

"Charlie have you lost your mind? You honestly think Chelsea will be crawling back to you if this plan works?"

"It has to Alan. I miss Chelsea like crazy and it doesn't help that she's with BRAAAAAAAD! either."

"Maybe its best to move on. What if you and Chelsea never get back together?"

"Then I'll" move on and hope and pray to God Bonnie dumps her fiance for me."

"Well you can keep dreaming because I don't think you and Bonnie will ever be together. Also, what about her fiance? Is he okay with this?"

"If he wasn't okay with it, I wouldn't be on my way right now picking her up at her place. Wish me luck."

Like I have a choice... just hope you don't get your ass kicked by her fiance."

Bonnie is ready for her double date, as she is wearing a black bandage dress. "How do I look?" she asked.

"Nice. I wish Charlie was going on a double date with Jill instead of you," Christy said.

"Sounds like he's not into her the same way as he is with your mother," Adam replied.

"Will you stop it. We're just going on a double date as a pretend couple," Bonnie said.

The doorbell rings; Bonnie walks to the door and opens it. Charlie is at the door.

"Hey, ready to go?" Charlie asked.

"Sure, you look handsome," Bonnie complimenting Charlie.

"Thanks," Charlie replied.

"Charlie, you know Christy obviously."

"I wish I didn't know him," Christy said with her arms crossed.

Charlie walks in to talk to Christy. "Aw, are you still mad about what I said about your dad being a lucky bastard on the night that he died?" he wondered. "You need to get over it.. because you're too cute to be getting mad," Charlie pinches Christy on her left cheek.

Christy moves away from Charlie. "Get her hands away from me, you're not my daddy!" she angrily said.

Charlie can't help but laugh. "Cute," Charlie pats Christy on the head. Christy is angry with her arms crossed again.

"And this my fiancee, Adam. Adam, this is Charlie."

"Nice to meet you," Charlie puts his hand out to get a handshake from Adam.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Adam warning him.

"Okay, well we should be going," Bonnie said.

Bonnie and Charlie are headed out the door as he opens it for her.

"Don't wait up," Bonnie said. Charlie then closes the door behind him.

"Oh I'll" wait up.. to see her comeback safe and sound and not holding hands with that bastard," Adam said to Christy.

"Yeah, you tell 'em future step dad!" Christy replied. Christy and Adam then high five each other.

Hours later, Charlie and Bonnie are walking back to Bonnie's house after their double date with Chelsea and Brad.

"I forgot to say you look quite foxy in the dress you're wearing," Charlie complimenting Bonnie.

"Thank you, you should see me in daisy dukes," Bonnie replied.

"You got any pictures of yourself wearing them?" Charlie asked.

Bonnie smiles and playfully slaps Charlie on the chest.

"So did you notice any signs of Chelsea being jealous tonight?" she wondered.

"Not really. It seemed like she was thrilled seeing us happy together the entire time. I expressed my love for you, we kissed each other on the cheek, I was leaning in to kiss you on the lips until you quickly put your finger on my lips."

"Boundaries mister. You're my pretend fiancee, as my actual fiancee's lips are the only ones I'm kissing."

"You know Bonnie, Adam sure is lucky to have a gal like you in his life. I just wish it was you and me."

"Charlie please don't do this."

"Oh screw it. Bonnie you are my dream girl and I always want to be with you. Trust me, this isn't the bourbon talking."

"Why are you? Charlie don't do this, please."

"If I can't get Chelsea back, then I want you as my #1 star."

Bonnie is flattered as she places her hand on her chest. "Charlie... that's beautiful. Listen, you are awesome and fun to be around, but we're friends and remember... I'm engaged."

'I'll" do anything to change your mind," Charlie said.

"You've put me in an awkward situation," Bonnie replied.

They both kissed. The kissing ended when Bonnie stopped and slowly backed away.

"Wait... we can't... we can't do this. I'm engaged and I can't do this to Adam."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Charlie apologized.

Charlie and Bonnie then continued walking. They finally arrived back at Bonnie's.

"I had fun tonight," Charlie said.

"Me too. Well, good night," Bonnie said.

"Good night," Charlie replied.

Adam opens the door. "Hey, how was the double date?" he asked Bonnie.

"It was fine. I'll" meet you upstairs." Bonnie walks inside. Adam then turned his head facing Charlie.

"Well, if it isn't the sex crazed son of a bitch who can't keep his penis in his pants," Adam said.

"Yeah, great to see you again Adam!" Charlie being sarcastic.

"Nothing went wrong tonight, did it?" Adam asked.

"Everything went fine," Charlie replied.

"Good. Because if anything went wrong, I'll" kick your ass if I have to," Adam warning Charlie.

Charlie couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" Adam wondered.

"No offence, but I don't see how you could kick my ass when you're in a wheel chair," Charlie replied.

"Is that so?" Adam asked.

"What are you going to do, jump out of your wheel chair and attack me?" Charlie said.

"If that's what it takes to kick your ass, I'll" go down swinging," Adam replied.

"Okay, we'll" good night," Charlie said as he is leaving.

"Kiss ass," Adam replied.

Marjorie, Wendy, Jill, Tammy, Bonnie, Charlie, and Christy are having lunch the next day at the cafe.

"So how was your double date as a pretend couple?" Wendy asked.

"It was great," Charlie said.

"Yeah I have to say, it was fun pretending to be this guy's fiance," Bonnie replied.

"You know Charlie. If Bonnie changes her mind about not wanting to be your pretend fiance anymore, you can count on me as the perfect replacement," Jill said lovingly.

"I'll" take your word for it. Now you can stop rubbing your foot against my leg."

"Oh that's me," Tammy couldn't help but to smile when gazing into Charlie's eyes. "I love you Charlie," she said in a seductive voice.

Charlie eyes grew big; has no idea what to say next. "I'm pretty sure I don't feel the same way," he then drinks his iced tea.

"Charlie, I noticed you're not drinking alcohol with your meal," Marjorie said.

"Yeah, well I want to thank you for suggesting to have iced tea instead of always relying on alcohol."

"Does this mean you're going cold turkey on alcohol?" Tammy asked.

"Hell no. I'm just not going to rely on alcohol all the time. That's like me going cold turkey on sex," Charlie said.

"Why not? You'll" be doing women and your penis a huge favor," Christy angrily replied.

Charlie laughs. "I love this kid," Charlie pats Christy on the head for the second time.

Christy is still angry. "I hate you so much," she said.

"Anyways, I want to thank you ladies for your support as I'm prepared for my speech at the upcoming AA meeting."

"You're welcome Charlie," said everyone except Christy.

"Hey Charlie, have you ever had sex at a funeral?" Wendy wondering. "I have, that's when I lost my virginity."

"Not a funeral, but I had sex with my brother's ex wife's sister in a coatroom. It happened during their wedding reception."

Marjorie face palms. "Okay seriously, what is wrong with you two?" she asked.

"Don't hate, congratulate," Wendy replied.

"So do any of you ladies smoke pot?" Charlie curious.

"Not anymore," Bonnie said. Although me, Christy, Jill, and Wendy accidentally ate some cookies with pot in it once."

"It was a nightmare, something I never want to experience again," Christy replied.

Charlie is thinking. "Really?" he said.

After being sober for a month, Charlie is giving his speech at the AA meeting.

"Hi, I'm Charlie Harper."

"Hi Charlie," Everyone in the audience said.

"I have been sober for a month and honestly, I never thought this would be possible. I've been having drinking problems since my teenage years. My reasons for drinking are because of my mother, who couldn't make it today because... well I didn't bother telling her so there you go. My cheap brother and his son, who is also my nephew caused me to drink as well, pretty much anyone who pisses me off drives me to drink. The reason why I joined the AA group was to get over my pain of losing my ex-fiance to another guy. We're still friends, but I still miss her to death. Even though me and my ex may not get back together, there is a foxy woman that makes my pain go away whenever I'm around her. I am grateful to consider her a friend."

Bonnie blushing then notices Christy angry at her for blushing.

"I appreciate the AA sponsor, Marjorie for being there for me. The best advice she gave me was to focus on "me, myself, and I."

Marjorie smiles as she is very proud of Charlie.

"I want to thank all the women in the AA group for being there by my side through thick and thin, I don't where I would be right now if it wasn't for them. I'm Charlie Harper, thank you for listening."

The audience clapped.

After Charlie's speech, Charlie and the ladies were packing things up before leaving.

"Hey where's Marjorie?" Christy wondered.

"She had to run some errands," Wendy replied.

"Who wants some chocolate chip fudge cupcakes?" Charlie bringing over the cupcakes to the women.

"Thanks Charlie!" Bonnie, Christy, Jill, and Wendy said.

"Hey Charlie, great job up there doing your speech," Bonnie said.

"Thanks. This is the reason why I made these cupcakes for celebrating my sobriety. I really do appreciate you guys."

Everyone is taking a bite of the cupcakes they are eating.

"These cupcakes are delicious," Wendy said.

"Yeah, it has a little bite to it," Christy replied.

"A strong bite if you ask me," Jill said.

Charlie and the girls are now at the Bistro. They end up getting high and ordered bacon chili cheese fries.

A waitress brings their food to the table. "Okay, three orders of bacon chili cheese fries."

"Yeah!" Charlie, Bonnie, Christy, Jill, and Wendy are all excited and happy. Christy has her own plate, while Jill & Wendy, and Charlie & Bonnie share chili cheese fries with each other.

"You know Bonnie if you ever get tired of that Adam guy, I'm your man to have your hand in marriage, plus to make babies with you," Charlie said.

"That's sweet, but I'm fine with my one and only flesh of a daughter sitting right next to you," Bonnie replied.

"I'm loving this. A guy like me hanging out with some awesome ladies, its like Two And A Half Mom."

"Aw, thanks Charlie!" the girls said.

"You're the best Charlie!" Christy hugs him.

Charlie puts his arm around Christy. "Man I wish you were my daughter."

Bonnie's phone is ringing and she sees its Adam calling.

"Hello," Bonnie said with a soothing tone in her voice.

"Where are you?" I thought you would be home by now," Adam worried.

"We're at the Bistro having dinner. Charlie nailed his speech at the AA meeting, so we're celebrating his sobriety," Bonnie explained.

"You're celebrating with Charlie at the Bistro?"

"Yeah. Me, Charlie, Christy, Wendy, Jill, and Wendy. Charlie also made us chocolate chip fudge cupcakes."

"I'll" be right there."

"You're not jealous are you?" Bonnie asked.

"I'm not jealous," Adam said.

"Well even if you were, Charlie would be my future baby daddy anyways," Bonnie replied.

Jill, Wendy, and Christy all gasped.

"Hey, is that Adam? Tell that bastard that he can kiss my ass and kick rocks," Charlie said.

Adam rolls his eyes. "Just say there. I'm on my way."

"Okay, bye," Bonnie sounding sad and disappointed.

"What's wrong?" Jill being concerned.

"I think Adam is breaking up with me."

Jill, Wendy, and Christy gasped again. Charlie puts his arm around Bonnie for comfort and support.

"Well Charlie I guess we're engaged now."

"This calls for a skipping celebration," Christy said then gets up and starts skipping.

"Where did you learn how to skip?" Charlie wondered.

"My mom taught me," Christy replied then continues skipping.

Charlie, Bonnie, Wendy, and Jill all start skipping.

Adam is out in the night looking for Charlie and the girls since there was no sign of them at the Bistro when he was there.

"Bonnie where are you?" Adam worrying about her. "I hope Charlie is not up to his tricks trying to take my lady away."

Adam stops at the light. He hears people yelling and notices Charlie and the girls running across the street shirtless. Adam shakes his head in disappointment.

The next morning, Bonnie, Jill, Christy, and Wendy are still sleeping in Bonnie's living room after a wild night of getting high. Bonnie is sleeping on the couch, Wendy sleeping in the chair, Jill and Christy both sleeping on the living room floor.

"Bonnie, hey Bonnie... wake up," Adam said.

Bonnie is waking up then sits up on the couch. "Oh man, what happened? What did I do last night?"

"You don't remember anything?"

"Not really I mean everything is such a blur right now. No wait, its coming back to me. We were at the Bistro celebrating Charlie's sobriety, but I don't recall anything else after that."

"I do. When I stopped at a light when looking for you, I saw you, the girls, and Charlie running across the street shirtless and yelling."

Bonnie's eyes grew big. No... are you sure you weren't high?"

Christy, Jill, and Wendy are now waking up.

"What happened?" Christy asked.

Jill looks around and moves her eyes back and forth. "This isn't my house. Please tell me I have not been kidnapped."

"Everything is fine Jill," Adam said. "You girls were so high that I figured you and Wendy should stay with us for the night."

"Where's Charlie?" Bonnie wondered.

"I dropped him off at his place before we came back here," Adam replied. "Bonnie, remember when you and the girls accidentally ate my cookies with pot in it?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well do you girls recall eating anything that made you feel funny and possibly caused you to get high?"

"Could it have been the bacon chili cheese fries?" Wendy wondered.

"I doubt it. What lamebrain is going to put pot in the bacon chili cheese fries?" Bonnie asked.

"I do recall you saying that Charlie made cupcakes," Adam said.

"Yeah. The cupcake I had was so good, it had a little bite to it," Christy recalls.

"A strong one, also with a mint like taste to it," Jill recalls.

Jill, Christy, Bonnie, and Wendy's eyes grew big. They realized and figured out that there was pot in the cupcakes.

"Oh.. my... God! He drugged us!" Christy freaking out.

"We had a relapse," Bonnie said.

"I don't want to lose my job," Wendy worried.

"That son of a bitch, I told you he was up to no good! First, he's head over hills for my mom and then he drugs us! Oh yeah, that son of a bitch has to pay!" Christy angry.

"Why would Charlie put pot in the cupcakes?" Bonnie not understanding.

"Probably to rape us," Jill guessed.

"Or to ruin our lives," Wendy guessed.

"I assumed he did it, just to take away Bonnie from me," Adam said.

Bonnie is getting up from the couch."Are you serious? Me and Charlie are just friends."

"Regular friends or.. friends with benefits?" Adam questioned Bonnie.

"Mom, he has a point," Christy said. "I mean why else would Charlie put pot in the cupcakes? I believe he did it, just to have his way with you."

"Oh please, I'm sure nothing happened," Bonnie said.

"How do you know? You were high remember? He probably kissed you and you don't remember a thing about it," Adam replied.

"WELL HE DIDN'T AT THE BISTRO, ONLY WHEN WE WERE WALKING HOME FROM OUR DOUBLE DATE!" Bonnie screams.

Everyone is shocked to know that Bonnie and Charlie kissed.

"You two kissed?" Adam asked.

"Yes, but it didn't mean anything Adam. I'm telling you I don't have feelings for Charlie like the way I do for you. I told him that I couldn't do this to you."

"Mom, why didn't you tell me?" Christy asked.

"Yeah.. that should have been me kissing Charlie, not you!" Jill angrily yelled.

"Oh give it up Jill, he's not interested in you!" Bonnie yelled.

"But you're engaged for crying out loud!" Jill yelled again.

" I KNOW BUT ITS NOT MY FOUGHT HE FINDS ME SO FOXY AND SEXY!" Bonnie screams.

"HEY!" Wendy screams.

Everyone turned their direction towards Wendy.

"Shouldn't we go down to Charlie's place and confront him about this?" Wendy suggested.

"Wendy's right. Let's go to Charlie's to confront him about what he did to us," Bonnie said.

"Mr. Charlie Harper you are so dead!" Jill angry.

"Can't wait to mortal kombat that son of a bitch into pieces," Christy pounding her fists together.

At Charlie's, Charlie and Alan are in the kitchen having some coffee.

"Charlie, do you recall what you did last night?" Alan asked.

"I remember having dinner at the Bistro with the girls, but I'm drawing a blank on everything else."

"Well Bonnie's fiancee stopped by last night to drop you off here. According to him, he found you and the women while he was waiting at a stop light. Not to mention, he saw all of you running across the street shirtless and yelling," Alan explained.

"I wish I would remember that for the chance to get a load of Bonnie's hooters."

"Well apparently you all were high."

"Yeah I know. I put pot in the cupcakes for all of us to enjoy," Charlie takes a sip of his coffee.

Alan is so confused. "I-I'm sorry, but did you just say that you pot in the cupcakes?" Alan making sure he heard Charlie correctly.

"See here's the thing," Charlie explains. "Bonnie, Christy, Jill, and Wendy once accidentally ate cookies that had pot in it, but they had no clue. They were so high, they ate bacon chili cheese fries and after that, they ended up at the park riding those kids rides like at the school playground."

"So you did this just for fun?" Alan asked.

"Yeah. "I also did it for the sake of _getting wild_! It was all about my celebration of being sober for a month."

"Charlie have you lost your mind? Those poor women are possibly former drug addicts, which means they can get in trouble when having a relapse. Not to mention, you can get in trouble for putting the pot in the cupcakes."

"I was just having some fun, not trying to commit a crime."

"Is that why you smacked my hand yesterday when trying to grab a cupcake, so I wouldn't end up getting high like you and the women?"

"No, I did that because you're not apart of my AA group. Unless you're apart of the AA, no cupcake for you."

"Either way, I'm proud of you. You have come along way of being sober for a month. I'm also sorry that I had to work since I missed hearing your speech."

"Thanks and I understand, you had to work."

The doorbell rings.

"Who the hell could that be?" Charlie wondered. He puts his cup of coffee down on the table and is heading to the living room to open the door. Charlie opens the door and its Bonnie, Christy, Jill, and Wendy. They are very angry at Charlie.

Charlie says nothing for a moment. "Sup!" he said.

"You son of a bitch, how could you?" Bonnie angrily asked.

"How could I what?" Charlie having no clue what he did wrong.

"Don't play dumb! We know you put pot in the cupcakes!" Christy angrily said.

"Oh okay, so you did figured it out," Charlie making sure.

"I can't believe you Charlie. Having the audacity to drug us, and for what?!" Bonnie confronting him.

"To rape us?" Jill guessed.

"Ruining our lives?" Wendy guessed.

"Having the opportunity to ask for my mom's hand in marriage?" Christy guessed.

" I didn't rape anyone, this was not me ruining lives, and no Christy, not to ask for your mother's hand in marriage. I put pot in the cupcakes because I wanted us to have a wild night by getting high. It was all part of my one month celebration of being sober," Charlie explained.

"Charlie I'm a former drug addict, which means this could ruin my reputation due to having another relapse!" Bonnie explained.

"I'm sorry. If you would have mentioned that you were once a drug addict, I wouldn't have done it in the first place."

"Well we all had a relapse again and you can get in trouble too for putting pot in the cupcakes in the first place!" Christy angrily replied.

"I could lose my job," Wendy worried again.

"Charlie Harper, I am very disappointed in you and you should be ashamed of yourself!" Jill angrily said.

"I am. I am truly sorry for what I did and I hope you all can forgive me," Charlie feeling guilty.

Jill pauses for a second. "Oh I can't stay mad at you," she hugs Charlie.

"Me either," Wendy also hugs Charlie.

Bonnie rolls her eyes and Christy has her mouth wide open. "Are your kidding me?! How can you forgive him, just like that?!" Christy angrily asked.

"Charlie. I'm very disappointed in you for what you done, but... you obviously didn't do it on purpose, as you just wanted to have fun. I forgive you," Bonnie walks up to Charlie and hugs him. Christy still can't believe it.

"Hey, what's going on?" Alan wondered.

"Alan, these are the women from the AA group. This is Wendy, Jill, Bonnie, the woman that I am head over heels for, and her daughter Christy."

"Nice to meet to you all. So you're the Bonnie that my brother can't help but to constantly talk about," Alan said.

"Yes, and you must be the cheap ass brother he mentioned in his speech, correct?" Bonnie asked.

Alan is pissed off; turning his head facing Charlie. "You mentioned about me being cheap?"

"Its no secret. Besides, just be glad that I mentioned you in my speech."

"Hey Alan, did you get high from eating one of your brother's pot cupcakes?" Christy wondered.

"No. I once did get high from eating brownies that my ex-girlfriend, Melissa's mother made. It was nothing but colors after that. According to Melissa, she caught me and her mother getting it on, which I again had no clue."

"So what happened after she caught you two doing it?" Jill asked.

"She kicked me out of her house, where I returned here still living with my brother," Alan replied.

"Why didn't she just kick her mother out instead?" Jill asked.

"Oh come on Jill, that's her mother. She probably had no where else to go," Bonnie replied.

"But she's the one who drugged him, just for the both of them to get it on. I'm sorry but if my mother did that behind my back, she would have to go," Jill said.

"Speaking of going, we better get back home to call Marjorie. I think its best to let her know we had another relapse," Christy suggested.

"Why don't we just wait here until later to tell her," Bonnie suggested. "After all, she is coming over to Charlie's place for his sobriety celebration."

"But I want her to help us where there is not going to be a lot of people here," Christy replied.

"Don't worry. Its only going to be you gals, myself, Alan, his son Jake, Chelsea, and Berta. Bonnie you can also invite Adam."

"What about Tammy?"

"Fine, just make sure she doesn't rub her feet up against my leg again."

"Isn't your mom coming too?"

"No. She's on vacation so she doesn't know anything about my sobriety. Even if she wasn't on vacation, I wouldn't tell anyways because... she's Satan."

Later that evening, Marjorie, Bonnie, Christy, Jill, Wendy Tammy, and Adam arrived at Charlie's place before his sobriety celebration started. Marjorie wants to know what


	4. Chapter 4

happened last night.

"So all of you ate the cupcakes that had pot in them, correct?" Marjorie asked.

"Yes," Charlie and the girls said.

"So none of you were aware of the pot in the cupcakes, right?"

Jill, Bonnie, Christy, and Wendy angrily turned their heads facing Charlie. Charlie ends up having a nervous smirk.

"Charlie, please tell me you're not the one who did this?" Marjorie asked.

"Okay.. it was Christy," Charlie pointing the finger at her for the blame. Christy is still angry.

Marjorie is starting to lose her patience. "Charlie!" she angrily said.

"Fine. I obviously put pot in the cupcakes, but I only did it for fun. I wanted to celebrate my sobriety by getting wild last night, but I wouldn't have done it had I known about them relapsing before."

"Charlie I am very disappointed in you," Marjorie said.

"I can't believe this!" Tammy said.

"Tell me about it," Bonnie replied.

"Bonnie why didn't you tell me you guys were getting high last night?!" Tammy asked.

Bonnie is so confused. "What?"

"You could have text me letting a bitch know that there were cupcakes at the AA meeting!"

"Tammy, it wasn't fun since we all had a relapse again!"

"Hey I'm been in prison for years, the last thing I want to do is have plenty of fun."

Bonnie rolled her eyes.

Berta comes from the kitchen and enters the living room. "Hey, what's going on? I hear people talking about pot."

"The girls had another relapse due to Charlie putting pot in the cupcakes he made," Marjorie replied.

"Oh Charlie, how could you? You know I like to get high as a kite, you should have told me to get in on the fun," Berta said.

"Amen Sister, Amen!" Tammy replied.

"I like you, what's your name?" Berta asked.

"You know Charlie I could report you for what you did, which means you would no longer be apart of our AA group," Marjorie said.

"Please forgive me, please give me another chance. I'm sorry for what I did and I promise I will not do anything like this again, I swear," Charlie begged.

Marjorie thinks about it. "Alright, I'll" give you another chance. You mess this up the second time and your days in the AA group will be over."

"I understand," Charlie nodded.

Charlie's sobriety celebration party has already started, as everyone is having a good time.

Charlie, Alan, and Bonnie are standing in the living room, while and eating and having conversations.

"You know Bonnie you look very familiar. In fact, you look like a woman I once met online and dated," Alan said.

"Is that so?" Bonnie asked.

"Yes, doesn't she Charlie?"

"Yeah I see the resemblance, but Bonnie is way hotter than Beverly."

Jake introduces himself to Christy. "Hey, I'm Jake."

"Oh you must be Alan's son and Charlie's nephew," Christy assumed.

"Yep," Jake replied.

"It must be tough having Charlie as your uncle, huh?"

"Are you kidding me? He's rich, he gets laid a lot, and gets the babes. He's like some inspirational God for upcoming young men like me. I also told him once that his face should be on money."

Christy slowly nods her head. "You poor naive fool," she said.

"Hey, pull my finger," Jake said.

"I know how this game works. You foolishly try to get me to pull your finger and then you pass gas," Christy replied.

"I'm promise you I won't pass gas, trust me," Jake said.

Christy thinks about for a second and trusts Jake. She slowly pulls his finger and then he farts.

Christy is startled. "You promised me that wasn't going to happen."

Jake can't help but laugh. "That's the beauty of it, you don't tell someone you're going to fart, so they can easily fall for it."

Christy is pissed as she walks away from Jake.

"You should have seen your face when you heard me farted," Jake still smiling.

Christy angrily looks at Jake as she continues walking away.

Christy notices Bonnie is eating buffalo wings and confronts her about it.

"Mom! Are you eating buffalo wings?!"

"Yeah, why?" Bonnie wondered.

"Just making sure Charlie didn't put pot in it!" Christy said.

"I didn't put pot in any of the food I made, so why don't you relax and have some baby back ribs," Charlie offering Christy some baby back ribs.

"You get those away from me or I'll" be braking your ribs! I don't want to eat any food you prepared after what happened with the cupcake situation!" Christy said.

"Do what you want, but there is no pot in the food I made. Bonnie, you don't sense any pot in the food, right?" Charlie asked.

"Nope. The only thing I'm sensing are these hot and tasty buffalo wings," Bonnie talking with her mouth full on the side of her left cheek.

Chelsea enters the front door. She finally arrives at Charlie's celebration party without Brad.

Charlie notices Chelsea. "Hey, there's Chelsea. Bonnie, let's go over there and talk to Chelsea."

"Aye, Aye, pretend fiance!" Bonnie still talking with her mouth full on the left side of her cheek.

"Bonnie, where are you going?" Adam wondered.

"I'm going over there to be Charlie's pretend fiance," Bonnie replied.

"Again," he said. "How long is this pretend fiance act going to last?"

"I told you once we can find a way to make Chelsea jealous. Once that happens, hopefully she'll" be crawling back to Charlie," she explained.

"Bonnie this needs to end now because I can't take this anymore."

"Look, I'm sorry that me and Charlie kissed. It was an accident, it meant nothing, I love you, and I want you to believe me."

"I do believe you. Also, I was jealous and I'm sorry for my jealousy, but I'm just making sure you won't run off with another guy."

"Don't be stupid, I'm not going to leave you. Now, if you'll" excuse me, Charlie is waiting.

"Hey Chelsea!" Bonnie happy to see her.

"Bonnie! Good to see you again," Chelsea replied.

Bonnie and Chelsea give each other a hug.

"I would have gotten Brad to come along, but he had to work late."

"Its understandable," Charlie replied.

"So, when do you two love birds plan on getting married?" Chelsea wondered.

Charlie and Bonnie paused and then looked at each other. They had to quickly think of a day for their pretend wedding.

"Um.. we'll" be getting married-." Charlie quickly cuts off Bonnie.

"On the fourth of July," Charlie putting his arm around Bonnie.

Bonnie angrily looks at Charlie.

"The fourth of July, huh?" Chelsea said.

"That way after the ceremony, we can have a big Independence Day barbecue. Speaking of which, can I get everyone's attention?!"

Everyone turned their direction facing Charlie. "I would like to tell everyone about my special announcement outside of the balcony."

Everyone heads outside of the balcony. Charlie thanks everyone for coming before telling them about his special announcement.

"First off, I like to thank everyone for coming since it really means a lot to me. Also, me and Bonnie are getting married on Independence Day."

"All right that's it, the jig is up Charlie!" Adam is now outraged.

"What's going on?" Chelsea wondered.

"Charlie, its time to tell Chelsea the truth," Adam said.

"Charlie, what is he talking about?" Chelsea asked.

"Okay, me and Bonnie are not getting married on Independence Day... we're getting married on Labor Day actually."

"Just tell her the truth already Charlie!" Bonnie, Christy, Jill, Wendy, Marjorie, Tammy, Berta, Adam, and Alan all yelled at him.

Charlie is pissed off. "Sellouts."

"Chelsea, the truth is me and Bonnie are not engaged... since... she's actually engaged to Adam."

"So the double date, you guys were pretending to be a couple?" Chelsea asked.

"Yes."

Chelsea is very angry and has her arms crossed. "Why did you lie Charlie?"

"Because I was trying to make you jealous. I was hoping there was a chance that we would get back together. Its been hard for me since our breakup and honestly, its hard for me to know that you're with Brad now. I'm sorry for lying to you Chels. If you don't think that we will get back together, then obviously I don't deserve to have happiness in my life. I just hope that we can still be friends."

Chelsea having sympathy for him. "Of course we can still be friends, I just wish you didn't lie to me. If you need me for anything, I'll" be there for you as a friend."

"Thanks," Charlie turns his direction towards Bonnie."Bonnie I'm sorry for having you pretend to be my fiancee," Charlie then turns his direction facing Adam. "Adam I'm sorry for pissing you off for getting your fiancee involved in one of my shenanigans. I can see that you guys were meant for one another."

"Thanks Charlie... and I forgive you," Bonnie said.

"Yeah, I guess you're not a complete jackass after all," Adam replied.

Days later, Charlie is at an AA meeting with Marjorie, Bonnie, Christy, Jill, Wendy, and Tammy. He talks about his journey through sobriety.

"My journey through sobriety has not been easy, but I'm thankful for all you in this room for being by my side since day one. I don't know if I'll" find love again, but I will focus on me, myself, and I."

Everyone claps.

"That was wonderful Charlie," Marjorie smiles.

"Great job Charlie," Wendy hugging Charlie.

"I'm proud of you Charlie," Bonnie said.

"Thanks," he replied.

"So how are you holding up? I'm sorry you and Chelsea aren't back together," Bonnie being sympathetic.

"I appreciate it, but at least I have a good friend like you to make me feel better," he replied.

"You sure do," Bonnie smiles. "Alright I'll" see you later."

"See ya," Charlie replied.

Christy walks up to Charlie. "Listen, I know we've had our differences, but I am proud that you have been sober for a month. I also appreciate you for saying that my mom and Adam are meant for each other. I guess you're not such a bad guy after all."

"Thank you. Sorry for flirting with your mom. You know I have to say, she's beautiful."

"Yes, she's foxy as you would say."

Charlie and Christy both laugh, then give each other a hug. Christy then leaves.

"Well Charlie, its just you and me," Jill said. "Bonnie is taken, Chelsea is taken, so that leaves me. If you ever feel lonely and want to get it on, don't hesitate to let me know."

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, let's do it," he said then takes Jill's hand as they are walking out.

"Really?" Jill asked.

"With both Bonnie and Chelsea taken, I might as well screw your brains out," Charlie replied.

"Momma's won the lottery tonight!" Jill excited.

The End


End file.
